


Feels Like Home

by imargarita



Series: Feels Like Home [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 3Ls are the Worst, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Best Man Ben, Don't Google Gates Foundation, F/M, Law Student Rey, M/M, Maid of Honor Rey, My dream residence, No Plot, No wedding cake, Poe is a Bridezilla, Rose is a saint, Seattlelites gonna Seattle, Spring Break Wedding, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Wedding Shower, Weddings, there are lots of food references, wedding party
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-04 02:40:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17296187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imargarita/pseuds/imargarita
Summary: Three years ago, Rey Andor and Ben Solo broke up and haven’t seen each other since. Now they’re maid of honor and best man, respectively, for Finn and Poe’s wedding. Can Rey and Ben be friends? Or do they have unfinished business?Or the one where Rey is a law student, Ben’s a high up attorney at his family’s non-profit foundation; Rey used to intern for Ben until they started banging. They were together for two years, but then she ran because she’s young and she’s allowed. They haven’t seen each other since their breakup and now they’re throwing bachelor parties and wedding showers for their BFFs – is there even cake in this fic? Banging is most of the unfinished business, but not all of it. No one gets any work done.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the Reylo Charity Anthology: Volume 1. Thank you for the opportunity ladies! Written in two months because I kept throwing out other ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of fics out there where Rey and Ben reconnect at Finn and Poe's wedding (or Rose and Hux's, or Finn and Rose's, or Hux and Phasma's) - I didn't realize this was one of my favorite tropes for a while. I had fun writing this.

_Together with their families Christopher Dameron and Finneas Storm request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage…._

“Did you get the invite?” Rose’s voice is clear over the speakerphone. “What do you think?”

“I love it,” Rey answers. She is the first one back from class and had grabbed the mail, dropping all of it except the invitation onto the kitchen counter. The thick white square envelope – needing extra postage of course – is classy and luxurious at the same time. White words in beautifully done calligraphy are on black cardstock topped with two silhouettes at the top. She can make out Poe’s curls and Finn’s sharp haircuts as the images look towards each other.

> _"Love is not looking at each other, but in the same direction,” a voice whispers in the recess of her memories._

She closes her eyes for a second. Ben still haunt her, almost 3 years later. She can still see them tangled in their sheets, feel the press of him against her breast, hip, and legs.  

> _“Oh, I don’t know, you kind of look at me quite a bit, Solo,” she teased.  
>  _
> 
> _He laughed, and ran the back of his hand against her cheek, “You got me.”  
>  _
> 
> _“Yeah, I do,” she whispered, tilted her head up slightly, and met him for a kiss._

“So, it’s going out next week right, but I wanted you to feel it. Finn wanted to go with regular cardstock and I swear to God I almost punched him in the face.”

“I love you Rosie,” Rey says, her voice choking with emotion.

“Of course, you do, because I’m awesome… but I didn’t know you cared that much about card stock, Rey.”

Rey laughs through her tears, “It’s not that! I should be there. I should be helping you! I’m a shit maid of honor-”

“Stop it right now, Rey. No, you’re not. You’re his family. You’re supposed to be the maid of honor. And let’s be honest, you’re shit at event planning... Lucky for you I’m amazing at it.”

“Yes, you are!” She sobs, her adrenaline high. “We should be co-maids of honor.”

“I’m not fucking talking at the reception. That’s better left to the fancy baby lawyer. See you’re the perfect maid of honor.”

Rey doesn’t answer back immediately.

“You OK?” Rose asks.

 _Baby lawyer_ had been Ben’s nickname for her – even before they had started dating. _This is one of our student interns, Rey Andor. She’s an undergrad at U-Dub majoring in, what was it again, baby lawyer? Feminist empowerment?_

“How is he?” She doesn’t ask often. People usually just volunteer the information, but not Rose. Rose wants Rey to acknowledge that she is the one who needs the information.

“He’s good. We all had dinner last night.”

“Just the four of you?” One day someone will say _no, he brought his girlfriend and she is wonderful._

Today is not that day and Rey releases a breath she did not realize she was holding when Rose says, “Yes. Poe says he’s not dating anyone seriously.”

Poe Dameron, who is marrying their best friend, is ironically Ben’s best friend. The two men grew up in the same part of Seattle, and their mothers have been friends for over 30 years. It was Ben who couldn’t pronounce Christopher, calling him Krispofer, and then finally _Poe._

It is Ben who will be standing next to Poe, while Rey stands next to Finn when the two men marry in March.

“Ben’s probably too busy with his new job anyway,” Rose continues.

His name is heavy in Rey’s chest, thrumming where her heart should be. She refuses to ask the question she wants to know. _Does he ask about me?_

Rose throws her a bone, as if reading her mind, “He asked when you were coming down and Finn told him.”

“Oh. What else did he say?”

“He said it would be good to see you again. It’s been a while.”

_Almost three years._

They end their call soon after, going over some of the shower plans they have, and Rey confirming it’s still ok that Rose pick her up from the airport. Poe has gifted Rey with his miles, otherwise she would have found herself having to driver from Palo Alto to Seattle. 36 hours round trip. During spring break. She probably would have had a nervous breakdown in Oregon. Both times.

Rey makes her way to the couch, glad that both her roommates are both out. No one is there to judge her as she pulls up her contact list, scrolling until she gets to his name. _Ben Solo._ The day she was assigned to the Skywalker-Organa Foundation’s legal department under Ben Solo, Staff Attorney she had wanted to kill him within ten minutes of talking to him – 

> _Here, let’s exchange contact info. If we have a project that takes up some of our weekend time, you can come in and observe. And make coffee or something._

As soon as she got back to her desk, she had edited his info from _Solo_ to _His Royal Assholery._ After a few weeks of actually working for him, she had changed it to _Lucifer Incarnate_. A joke really, since by then she knew he was a hard task master but also an amazing mentor. She did come in on weekends to observe and he treated her much like he treated everyone else, asking for her opinion, running his arguments through her. She learned he had a coffee maker in his office and rarely asked anyone to make it for him. She was in awe of him. That he was drop dead gorgeous and made her laugh didn’t hurt either.

She was already using him to get off – frequently. It was embarrassing how much she was thinking of his hands and mouth on her, of his fingers inside her. While he was completely professional – mostly. Once in a while, she would catch him looking at her, as if he was starving and she was a piece of cake – and she didn’t know what she was going to do when her she had to rotate out of legal and not see him again. There was no reason an intern needed to visit with one of the Foundation’s senior staff attorneys.

Then three months into her internship, she and Ben Solo – her direct supervisor _still_ – got disgustingly drunk on a Friday night and went back to his place to fuck it out of their system. Apparently, he had just as big an itch to scratch. When she woke up naked and alone in his bed the next morning – remembering every wicked thing he had done with his hands and gorgeous mouth. It had been mind-blowing, the best orgasms of her life – but it made her realize her fantasies to that point had been woefully inadequate. Her fingers weren’t long or thick enough, and her vibrator was sorely lacking. Which meant she was _fucked_. She had rushed out of his apartment, caught an Uber to the U-District, and changed his info to _Bad Choices._

Back at work, they pretended it never happened, and she couldn’t look at him for a week. He locked himself in his office and sent assignments to her via email. When they absolutely had to meet, in person, he would book the fishbowl conference rooms or they met at her desk – anything so they were never alone. Those weeks had been horrible, she was already halfway in love with him.

One month after their hookup he announced he didn’t need an intern and she was reassigned to another staff attorney. She spent the weekend with Finn and Poe, crying _I fucked up, I fucked up._ Two days after she moved into a different section, on the opposite side of the floor, Ben had flowers delivered to her new desk with an unsigned note: _Go out with me. Please._

Their first official date started at 7:00 PM that Friday, where she met him at his condo and he had her in his bed for dinner. _Jesus, fuck how do you taste so goddamned good?_ The date didn’t end until the following Monday when he dropped her at her dorm room in the early hours of the morning so she could rest and make her morning classes. He ended up crashing with her in the room _like a fucking teenager._ She changed his info to _God._

Once she finished her rotation in Legal, she was sent to a different floor entirely to work on a Gender Equality project. He openly started taking her to lunch, even held her hands sometimes in the elevator, and once in a while, when he was staying late at work, they fucked over every surface in his office.Only when she left him, running from their life before he could throw her out of it, did she change it to _Ben Solo._

The first year of law school was brutal – everyone at Stanford was a brilliant overachiever. The work was hard, and she missed him so much. She broke down at the end of her first year and texted him: **_I’m interning for the Foundation in London, but headed back home for a few days first. Can we meet up?_**

He never responded.

Her second year she studied, moved off campus with some friends, went on a few dates that rarely progressed to a second – it was easy to say _I’m a law student, school is my priority._ Better than the truth, _I’m in love with someone else and every time I do this, I feel like I’m betraying him, even if I was the one who left him…_

Poe kept her abreast of his activities. And even if he didn’t, Rey received the company newsletter and Ben Solo was high enough up the food chain that when he moved positions, everyone knew. Right before her second year of law school, he was named the Acting Deputy General Counsel, and moved to the Washington, DC Office while Ahsoka Tano took a sabbatical to work on the ground in India.

So, while he has been in DC, like the coward she was she flew back to Seattle as much as she could. She let Poe pay for quick weekend flights so she could see Finn. And then. Last month at Finn and Poe’s annual New Year’s Party, Poe had taken her aside and told her that Ahsoka was coming back, and that Ben was expected back in Seattle the first of the year.

They haven’t spoken or seen each other since their break up. She deserves the silent treatment, she knows it. He has most likely moved on, dating women more appropriate. _More beautiful, smarter, taller, blonde probably._ Except not a single one of their mutual friends – and they have lots of them scattered throughout the organization– has said he is seeing anyone. With only one semester left of law school, she can’t remember the last time she has been on a real date; and it has been almost a year since she actually hooked up with someone else. _Kinda pathetic, Andor,_ she thinks to herself.

But they will have to talk. They are best man and maid of honor. There are parties and rehearsals they will be hosting and attending; their friends are the same people; his family’s foundation is the pinnacle of her career… and she still misses him.

She glances at his picture, a rare one with him sporting a shit eating grin and his eyes focused on her. It had been taken during their first trip to Whistler, Canada. Days had been spent skiing and boarding, and at nights they had rarely left their hotel room. The entire time they had been together, she had never gotten tired of him… _If he had called her even once she would have taken a flight to Seattle as soon as possible._

She should have replaced the picture. It’s too personal. She should have used something like his new headshot from the recent press release: _Ben Solo, Director of Operations, is the new head of legal, compliance, and policy. In addition, he will provide strategic advice on a broad portfolio of grants, contracts, and investments for the Global Health Division._

He had looked so serious in the picture, and hadn’t smiled, but he still made her heart ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Skywalker-Organa Foundation is based on the amazing Gates Foundation. Supposedly, for every charitable contribution an employee makes, the Foundation does a 3:1 match! Wowza!
> 
> I really wanted to put this in my fic, maybe in the epilogue.... [The Amazon Spheres](https://www.seattletimes.com/business/amazon/take-a-look-inside-amazons-spheres-as-they-get-set-for-next-weeks-opening/)


	2. Chapter 1: Return to the Emerald City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dynamic Finn, Rose, and Rey Trio. And Brunch with Poe!

The week of the wedding comes soon enough and Rey flies into Sea-Tac late Friday night. Once the plane is at the gate, people are turning on lights, reaching for their bags, and trying to get out of the plane. She sits in her seat – Poe booked her business class, bless him– and looks out the window. It’s March and there is a light rain outside. She knows it’s deceiving. The rain is probably in the mid-40s and she’s dressed for the weather: black boots, gray slacks, a white Stanford vest, and a long trench coat. She has a whole Seattle wardrobe – including unfashionable Birkenstock – split between Poe and Rose’s homes.

She’s almost 26 years old and she hasn’t progressed much in 20 years: she has no permanent residence, and there’s a restlessness inside of her – she’s still missing something. _Someone._ That’s the difference she supposes. Her mother left her, she had no control over that; but these past three years away from Ben – that’s all on her.

She’s one of the last ones off the airplane and a flight attendant at the door asks her, “You visiting or coming back, sweetie?”

“A little of both,” Rey answers truthfully.

“Yeah, most people don’t come to Seattle for spring break unless they’ve got some connection to Seattle. Enjoy your stay!”

She nods and walks towards baggage claim.

“Peanut!” Finn is there and has already taken her hot pink suitcase from the carousel. The color alone would make it a standout, but it was a gift from Poe when she was accepted into Stanford, and he had pictures of their Havanese, BeeBee, printed on both sides.

As soon as she sees him, she breaks out in tears and he engulfs her in his warm hug, “What happened? I thought Rose was going to come!”

“She wanted to give us some alone time,” He says kissing her on the cheek. He smells of _Amouge Dia_ , his signature scent. Rey takes several deep breaths and smells the notes of amber and leather. There is only another cologne she loves more.

> _“Hey, Rey, what’s this?” Her roommate Laura lifted the bottle from Rey’s dresser. She sniffed at the cap and read the label, “Damn, that’s good._ Hermes by Terre D’Herme. _”_
> 
> _Laura pronounced it correctly of course, she lived in Quebec until she was 12 with her diplomat mother. She, Rey, and Julie have only been roommates for a few months, and they like each other well enough. But this is the first time she had come into Rey’s room._
> 
> _“It’s a man’s cologne,” Laura commented._
> 
> _“I like to wear it once in a while. I don’t like flowery scents.” What she really wanted to say is:_ It was the smell of home. _It was autumn in the woods, the crunch of leaves under her boots, her hand engulfed in Ben’s on one of their countless hikes in the Pacific Northwest._
> 
> _Laura didn’t know that Rey placed the tiniest drop of it on her wrist every night the first year she was at Stanford. After her first year - when Ben didn’t return her call - she left the bottle it in Palo Alto before heading to Seattle to spend a week with Finn and Poe. She picked up a man in a bar for the first time and had sex with him in the alleyway. She cried afterwards and bought a new bottle as soon as she landed in London._

There is a bottle of _Hermes_ in her luggage. She won’t wear any while she’s here – no way. But if she needs it, she’ll be able to take a whiff to tide her over.

Finn wipes at the apple of her cheeks. “No tears! I’m here, Peanut! You’re gonna make me cry! And if either of us have puffy eyes during the pictures, Poe is going to kill us.”

“It’s just so good to be back, Finn.”

He squeezes her hand as he leads her from the terminal to the parking garage. They drive north on I-5 and when she spots the city, her heart catches in her throat. She takes a look across the water to Alki Beach. Their condo – _Ben’s, it’s Ben’s condo_ – is on Alki, taking up the top floor of one of the pricey properties in the area. She doesn’t want to think about him in their bed, with whoever has replaced her.

Finn pats her hand, knowing her better than anyone else, and she deflects, “Only one more week, Finn. This is your penultimate Friday as a single man.”

“I haven’t been a single man since my second year of college,” he reminds her. Finn had been working as a waiter at one of the trendier steak houses in the city when Poe and his date had sat in his area. Poe had left with his date, but came back near closing to ask Finn out.

When Rey met Poe for the first time, he introduced himself as the Creative Technologist at the Skywalker-Organa Foundation, one of the world’s most influential nonprofits. _A creative technologist is just white people fancy talk for web master and glorified infogram creator_ , he had teased and it was only at her orientation that Rey realized how big a job Poe had.

> _“You know Poe Dameron?” Kaydel Connix, another intern asked when she spotted Rey talking to Poe during one of their breaks._
> 
> _“Yeah, he’s dating my best friend.”_
> 
> _“Poe Dameron, the Sr. Communications Officer – slash – Creative Technologist? The one in charge of developing the main website and producing a majority of the content? The Poe Dameron who developed the VR presentation we watched this morning? The man who runs the division I’m going to work in this summer? That Poe Dameron?  I mean he’s my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss – I think I got that right...”_
> 
> _Web master and glorified infogram creator didn’t quite cut it as far as job descriptions went either._

The car stops in front of new construction in the Phinney Ridge neighborhood, just outside of Green Lake. It’s Rose’s place, a cozy two bedroom, but Finn already has a key. He’s been living in Rose’s spare bedroom since January – he and Poe have agreed to some celibacy pact before the wedding and living apart makes it easier. Rey thinks they’re insane. This whole wedding is insane though. Five hundred guests, a few showers already thrown for them, a joint bachelor party tomorrow night, followed by the joint shower/tea party that Rose and Rey are hosting – Rey gets dizzy thinking about the excess.

“Hey,” she turns to her friend before he has a chance to leave the car. She places her hand on his and looks at him. “You OK? I mean – this is a lot. A whole _fucking_ production because this is Poe… but you’re OK with this right?”

“I love you, Peanut, for checking with me. And yeah, it’s OK that my wedding is going to be some huge spectacle that magazines and papers are going to write about – I think the _Stranger_ is dedicating a Savage Love post about it. Would I have been happier going to Napa and having a small wedding with just you guys and my Nana? Hell yes! But in the end the ceremony part didn’t matter to me. Just the _I now pronounce you husband and husband_ part.”

“Just focus on the end game?” She asks.

He smiles, “Exactly… and if Poe gets stupid obnoxious, we can kidnap him and make him marry me in the Foundation’s cafeteria- our officiant has agreed to it.”

She laughs, “Well I’m here for you. So if you need me to go toe to toe with Dameron, I’m your best girl.”

“Yes,” he agrees, reaching for the door handle, “you are. And always will be.”

When they enter the condo all the lights are on, and soft jazz music is playing throughout the space. Rose peeks her head from the kitchen. Her hair is piled atop her head, and she’s wearing glasses instead of her contacts. She has on a black tee shirt, sleep shorts, and knee high Hufflepuff socks. She’s smaller than both Rey and Finn, but makes up for it with her fierce personality.

Rose squeals when she sees them and yells to the room, “Alexa, play Finn’s Bachelor Party Mix.” Scissor Sisters’ _Let’s Have a Kiki_ replaces the jazz and Rose hands them both cocktails and then she throws her arms around Rey. Rey returns the hug, throwing her drink back and letting the cold liquid burns down her throat with lemony sweet flavor.

“It is waaay too late for this.” Finn sips his drink and wraps his free arm around Rose, twirling her.

“It’s not even 11:00 PM, Finneas Damn-Storm,” Rose feigns shock. “You didn’t leave the dorms until 11 when we were in college…Rey-Rey, there’s a whole pitcher of drinks in the kitchen, help yourself. I’ll take your stuff into my room. It’ll be like old times!”

At 2:00 AM they find themselves in Rose’s queen bed. Rey has showered and changed into a long flannel sleep shirt that comes down to her thighs. Rose and Finn are at either side of her, their arms wrapped around her waist. The current playlist is much mellower and _Hallelujah_ starts playing.

“This is the Shrek version, right?” Finn asks sleepily.

“Rufus Wainwright is a goddamned national treasurer, you Disney nerd,” Rose replies.

“DreamWorks nerd. And I work with kids. They like the Sing version better.”

Rey snorts. Conversations like this are part of their DNA. “I’ve missed you guys so much.”

“About that-” Rose props herself up… “So, what are you going to do after law school?”

“I’ll go wherever someone will take me.”

Finn starts to stroke her hair. “Poe says there’s always a place for you at the Foundation…. But not that. Where? Cali? Back to London? Are you coming home, Rey?”

She looks out the window, hating that the tears come too easy whenever she is back in Seattle, her emotions always on edge. _Home doesn’t want her back._

***

Poe arranges to meet her at their favorite brunch spot the next morning. Rey tries to get Rose and Finn to join her, but they call off. This is her alone time with Poe, Finn tells her.

She takes a Lyft to the Central District, the cold March air hitting her as she exits the car and runs into the restaurant. It’s full, but she sees Poe near the back. At least it’s not raining.

“Hey, Rey-Rey,” Poe stands up from the table and gives her a kiss on her forehead and a quick hug before gesturing for her to take a seat. He’s only a few inches taller than her, a few inches shorter than Finn He’s impeccably dressed in blue jeans, a waffle knit green sweater, and a dark denim jacket. His hair is cut close, though there are still a few curls at his forehead and around his ears. He’s a beautiful man and he knows it. “You guys stay up late?”

“Yes, but I got my first 8 hours since school started again. Finn on the other hand was making a nest in his bed.”

“He needs his beauty rest because I am going to keep him up all night every night on our honeymoon,” he wags his eyebrows suggestively at her.

“Dork. With this whole celibacy thing you guys got going… never mind. I said nothing. I am picturing nothing.”

He laughs, even with all the stress involved with a wedding – and Poe is type A through and through – he looks amazingly calm. She is working her way through her salmon benedict – seriously no one has perfected seafood bennies like the Pacific Northwest – while he eats his fruit bowl and drinks his coffee.

“I thought you’d be much more stressed out,” she admits.

He shrugs, “I’ve been in love with Finn for six years. This doesn’t make me nervous. This makes me giddy. I’m going to marry the man of my dreams.” And then he blesses her with his million dollar smile.

She can’t help but give him a smile that rivals his own. She is glad they are going to get their much-deserved happy ending.

“Now, why I called you here today.”

“To feed me?”

“Of course… but the bachelor party tonight?”

 _Ah yes. The bachelor party._ She has taken one step at a time to get here. Get through exams. Get on the plane. Get off the plane. Make it to Rose’s. Go to sleep. Wake up. Trying to slow down the seconds before she sees Ben again. _She wants to savor the moment she sees him, even if it breaks her heart._

“There will be a lot of people there, easy to get lost in the crowd. There’s no need for you to come early… Spend some time at home with Rose, and I can scope it out for your, tell you where Ben lands himself, and then you don’t need to see him.”

_Yes, Poe, I do. I really do need to see him._

“That’s not fair to Finn. Or you. I’m done being a shit maid of honor… and it’s fine. It’s completely fine.”

He reaches for her hand and squeezes. “I’m not asking for us, Rey. I’m asking for Ben. I’m trying to protect my best friend.”

She pulls away. “I thought it was OK. Rose said he would be OK.”

“That’s what he tells himself, but he hasn’t actually seen you yet. And I don’t know how he’s going to react when he actually sees you again. I don’t like not knowing.”

She doesn’t know either. He says it will be good to see her, but will it be really? What if seeing her again pisses him off? Or worse? _What if he is perfectly fine seeing her?_ She wants a medium. Civility but some confirmation that he still thinks about her.

“It’s better now than if it happens the day of the wedding. It’s like poison training. Take a little at a time, and then you’ve got an immunity to it?” She suggests.

“You’re not building up any type of immunity – not when just the mention of him throws you into this,” He motions at how her hands are clenched around her napkin and how she has pushed away her favorite breakfast food, half eaten. “Fine. Meet. Let’s see what happens, you’re right I don’t want either of you fucking up my wedding.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could spend all day looking at Havanese puppies. I would totally have my luggage with their faces printed on them. 
> 
> Alki Beach is a great place to hang out, I would love to live in [Ben's Condo](https://www.thepinnacleatalki.com/gallery/). Sleek lines modern touches. 
> 
> Rufus Wainwright really is a goddamned treasure. His version of [Hallelujah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQK4YfiPj1Q#action=share) gives me the shivers.
> 
> Salmon benedict made with lox pales in comparison to smoked salmon benedict. Fight me.


	3. Chapter 2: Enter Stage Left (the EDM One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! Belated thanks to [deadlikemoi](http://deadlikemoi.tumblr.com/) who provided some beta duties. Read her [stuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlikemoi/pseuds/deadlikemoi/works)!

The joint bachelor party is held in a large Capitol Hill nightclub. It’s two stories plus a rooftop patio with four dance floors and each has been themed: 70s and 80s music with heavy rotation of British bands, hip hop and R&B, Electronic Dance Music, and Reggaeton.

Finn, Rey, and Rose walk in together at 8PM and it is already full of people. More than 100 though that is how many invites were sent out – there are easily double that many people. Finn is dressed in a simple black tee-shirt, dark jeans, and Poe’s lucky bomber jacket. Rose has opted for a dark chocolate strapless dress that flares at the hips – bought just this afternoon. is wearing a sleeveless silver dress, tight and fringed with holographic sequins. When she moves, it catches the light and reflects it back onto darker surfaces. It barely covers her ass and she tugs it down when she sits or stands. She has worn this dress multiple times.      

> _“Why are you wearing a disco ball?” He asked when she came out of the bathroom the first time she wore the dress. They were headed to his parents’ New Year party, their first together. They have been living together for six months – but she still counts each first they have._
> 
> _“Because when this dress drops on this floor later tonight, you know that’s when your real party starts.” She teased and pulled at the lapels of his jacked._
> 
> _He laughed, pulling her tight against him as he dropped a kiss behind her ear, “Oh that dress isn’t going to make it back in here, I promise you.”_
> 
> _They ended up being late for the party._

Rey’s eyes are constantly moving to see if she can spot Ben as she walks through the club. She knows almost everyone there, and there is small talk – so much small talk. She always has a drink in her hand, but sips at everything, so she can keep her wits about her. It’s an open bar and her mind staggers at how much money is being thrown at the bachelor party. Rose orders double of everything, but she has been known to outdrink everyone in their group – including Poe whose parents own several distilleries. 

Rose eventually does talk her into three quick rounds of tequila shots. They try all the floors, dancing with teachers from Finn’s work, friends from college, and so many people from the Foundation.

They’re sweaty, tired, and excited all at the same time when they collapse into an empty booth near the EDM dance floor. Above them a pair of trapeze artists swing from the ceilings, bending their bodies into beautiful shapes. Scantily but tastefully clad servers of various sexes take drink orders and carry appetizers. People are mingling more than dancing in this section of the club.

Rose pours the champagne into three flutes and they clink glasses. It’s expensive champagne – Rey remembers buying a bottle for Leia’s birthday a few years ago because it is her favorite – and every table has a bottle of it. “How much money does Poe make a year? Did he make you sign a prenup?”

Finn shakes his head, “No; but if he had I would have done it in a heartbeat.”

“Ah _stupid_ love.” _She really shouldn’t open doors where she doesn’t want people to enter_. But Rose just gives her a supporting pat on the hands.

“Love definitely doesn’t have a brain,” Rose agrees.

“Besides,”– Finn giggles when the bubbles hit the back of his throat – “he didn’t pay for this. Poe makes good money, but this… This is Ben’s gift to Poe as the best man.”

“Wait, what?” Rey stops mid sip. “Ben paid for all of this?”

“What’s 25-30 grand between best friends?” Rose says sarcastically, “Rey, you’re going to be this rich in a decade, right? Because, Ben did Poe and Finn a solid, I figure-”

“My wedding shower is seriously going to suck,” Rey shakes her head.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Rose winks. They’ve been working on the shower for months. Because they knew this party was going to be excessive and go into the wee hours of the morning, the shower the next day isn’t until 1:30 PM. Enough time for everyone to rest up.

“Now, Finneas Damn-Storm, let’s go have them play us some Gloria Gaynor upstairs!” Rose stands up from her seat reaches for Finn who lets her pull him from the booth. They look to Rey , but she shakes her head, "I'm going to mingle...maybe find Poe."

"We'll check up with you - soon. 'K?" Finn asks squeezes her on the shoulder as they leave. 

She leans back against the booth, sighing and hears someone settle into the booth. She opens her eyes to find Armitage Hux in the seat across from her, “Rey Andor, as I live and breathe! How goes it?”

“Hello, Hux,” She doesn’t know him well even though he and Ben went to law school together and have been friends for over a decade. Hux is uniquely Ben’s friend, rarely hanging with Rey, or attending any function. He is a patent attorney and practices in Redmond near the Microsoft campus. Tonight he has shed his clean cut, Harvard law persona and is dressed in a white tee, red leather jacket, and black leather pants. Diamond studs wink from his ears. _Is he wearing eye liner?_

“How long are you in town?” he asks, nursing a tumbler of brown liquid with no ice. The ice is in his eyes as he stares at her.

“I leave the day after the wedding. School starts Monday.”

“You’re almost graduated right? Ever think about patent law?”

“I have undergraduate degrees in political science and English Literature. I’m not interested in more schooling to garner the requisite technical knowledge required to practice patent law.”

“What is your area of study?”

“International and Comparative Law.”

He laughs, “It’s like you were built for the Foundation! Ben’s reshuffling his attorneys and has a few spots in London this summer –you’re from there, right?”

“Actually, I was born in the States, but my mother was British. Her sister, my aunt raised and adopted.” It was a sanitized version of the truth that she had perfected. _My mother was a drug addict who left me at school and then went home to kill herself. She was estranged from her family, so I was put in foster care until my aunt came searching for me._  

“But you’re staying stateside?”

“I haven’t lived in London for more than two months at a time. I’m staying. I’d like to work for the Foundation of course. Who wouldn’t? But that’s not up to me.”

“You should talk to Ben, see if there’s a place for you.”

She gives him a look as if to say _Cut the bullshit._

He ignores it, “Why not? You’re both adults. You’re no longer involved and you’ve both obviously moved on. Are you thinking about Seattle?”

“That’s been a popular question tonight.”

“And?”

“I haven’t decided yet…. though I’ll be sure to tell Ben you support my coming back.”

He snorts and finishes his drink. Something catches his eyes behind her and he motions, glass in hand, “Look, there’s the heir apparent himself.”

Rey turns her head to see Ben at the bar, his arm on a tall brunette’s shoulder though all Rey can make up is her back bare, fabric dipping low on the curve of her ass. _You’ve both moved on._ Someone forgot to tell her heart.

Until this moment, a small part of herself had always doubted. That maybe she made him up in her head, made him bigger than he really was, that she was in love with a memory more than an actual man. That he wouldn’t affect her still.

That small doubting part if her is a dumb bitch. Her mind goes blank as she gets an unadulterated look at him for the first time in almost three years. Sound and light disappear, and it’s as if everything is happening in slow motion. Maybe this is what a heart attack feels like, but she stops from clutching her chest. He towers over the crowd, though the woman in her five-inch heels stands just below his nose. He’s dressed more casually than his companion, but they seem very comfortable around each other; their faces close as they talk.

She’s not the only one watching him. He’s Seattle royalty, his family as famous as Bill and Melinda Gates, as Dave Matthews or Mackelmore, as the damn current and former Seahawks. People are watching him, waiting to see if anything newsworthy will happen around him.

She turns to see Hux is still watching her, waiting, an eyebrow raised in question.

For all the bravado she showed Poe the other day, in the end she knows what she is. _Coward._ “I need to get some air. It was nice seeing you.”

She stands, turning from Hux, and the flash of her silver dress reflects the lights just right and it is enough to catch his attention. He stops mid-sentence and locks gazes with her.

_Ben._

She turns and rushes to the stairs to head up to the rooftop patio.

* * *

“Hey, Rey-Rey.”

She should have known. She’s sitting on one of the lounge chairs under a heating lamp, her feet firmly planted on the floor. There’s a weight next to her as the speaker takes a seat.

If anyone was going to come after her….

She hadn’t gotten a good look at the brunette, she had after all been turned towards Ben, but Rey should have known. Where there’s a Solo, there’s often a Skywalker. “Hey, Jaina. You look amazing.”

Jaina Skywalker Ross, Luke and Mara’s daughter, Ben’s first cousin, is a Seattle socialite. She doesn’t have an official job – her husband Robert’s family is just as old, connected, and rich as the Organas. She spends her time taking care of her children, volunteering on various boards, including the Skywalker-Organa Foundation. She speaks 4 languages, holds an undergraduate degree in International Studies, and a Master’s in Economics. Leia brings her to meetings as a ringer.

Up close, Rey can appreciate the green catsuit. The top is a halter, attached to a silver hoop around her throat, while the neckline plunges almost to Jaina’s belly. The material doesn’t move an inch, only revealing some side boobs. Jaina had been the one to introduce Rey to boob tape. _What will they think of next? A cure for cancer?_

They lean in to exchange cheek kisses and Jaina look down at her outfit. “This old thing? It’s from last year’s Versace collection. But your dress? I swear your dress gave my cousin a heart attack…. I’ve seen it before?”

“I wore it to Leia and Han’s party one year.”

“Ah, the one where Ben couldn’t keep his hands off your ass – but then again, that’s every party we’ve ever been to.... It’s good to see you again, Rey.”

“Same here.” They’re friends –Jaina, her twin Jacen, and Ben were raised more like siblings than cousins – but Rey’s path has crossed more often with Jacen these past few years. Jacen is a pediatric surgeon who practiced in the Seattle area before deciding to work for the Foundation full time. He’s in and out of Africa often, and during Rey’s two summers interning in London, she has seen Jacen at least a dozen times.

 “How have you been? How are the kids?” It’s only been a few months since they’ve seen each other, Rey running into Jaina and her family at Han and Leia’s Boxing Day Luncheon.  

Jaina She pulls up her phone and shows Rey a picture of her three kids. She and Robert had two boys before adopting a daughter from China. “The family is wonderful, I couldn’t be prouder – Lilian used the “f” bomb correctly at my mother’s fundraiser last week… Lucas wants to be an MMA fighter and Jett thinks he can be a rapper, do you know who Post Malone is?”

“Yes. He’s very successful.”

“Good because we’re redoing our wills. One million less for every inch of face tattoo. Not that the boy can actually rap.”

Rey laughs and a server who had been hovering over them comes by to offer caprese bites on mini bamboo skewers. They eat them in silence before Jaina continues, “On the personal front, Aunty Leia wants me to travel with her to China this summer, but I’m not that big a fan of Beijing. Hong Kong in a heartbeat, but not Beijing… I also helped Ben plan this ridiculous bachelor party. Gods, I love excess. We were just betting on what the liquor tab is going to be. There’s got to be at least 200 people here and let’s say conservatively each person drinks 6 drinks, averaging $15 each. I’m bad at math. What is that?”

Rey thinks for a second and estimates, “$18,000 without tip?”

“Dammit. I just lost $100.”

Rey laughs, but movement at the other end of the roof – movement she was expecting – catches her eye. She straightens, feels the hair rise on the back of her neck, as soon as she sees Ben. She can’t even stop her body from doing reacting immediately.

They stare at each other, and she must make a noise because Jaina places a hand on Rey’s arm and places another kiss on the younger girl’s cheek, “You guys have a lot to talk about… I’ll see you around, Rey.”

When the cousins meet Jaina squeezes his forearm and whispers something in Ben’s ears. He shrugs and swallows before continuing to Rey.

He picks the lounge chair across from her.

The air is electric around them, and she takes her fill of him. His jet-black hair may be a little shorter, but it’s still long enough, begging for her to run her hands through the silky strands. Her hands itch with the memory of it. When he moves, she watches the hint of muscles at his thighs and biceps. He’s still pale even for a native Seattleite, her favorite moles still the one above his left eyebrow, above his lip, and at the base of his neck. _Fuck,_ he’s still the most beautiful man she’s ever seen.

His eyes move from her short skirt, to her mouth, and then finally her eyes. _What does he see?_ A nondescript brunette, with hazel eyes and too many freckles. His eyes are guarded, something they had never been in the past.

She wants to touch him, maybe it will be like a button. Push him, reset, and all the adoration will return. But she doesn’t reach out.

“Hello, Rey,” his voice. Of course it’s still the same. It can reach into her and still turn her on. Her body reacts, priming itself and she feels liquid heat between her legs. _Jesus Christ. Thank god she’s wearing underwear._

“Ben.” Her voice comes out friendly enough. _I should get brownie points for not being a complete mess. For not jumping into him and making a fool of myself._ Her hands are folded in her lap and she squeezes them together, so that she won’t reach out to him.

 “Welcome back.”

“Thank you…. thank you for everything really. For taking care of this party, I don’t know how I can repay you. I mean this looks like it costs a shit ton –”

He raises a hand – _his goddamned large fucking hand_ – to stop her, “This is what I wanted to do, Rey. You don’t owe me anything. It’s just money. Jaina did most of the planning. I just gave her my credit card.”

“I still feel bad, like I’m not pulling my weight.”

“I can’t help how you feel, Rey...” He pauses thinking about it, biting back some quip and she fights her own urge to goad him. _Let’s fight, Solo, because we know where that leads to 80% of the time…_ but he moves past it. “We all know how important law school is, and you’re so close to being done. Just because Poe wants to get married on their goddamn anniversary doesn’t change any of that. The universe aligned and this is the path we need to take to get them to the altar.”

He’s right, but she still feels guilty, “How are you?”

“Good. Everything’s good.” _You’ve both moved on,_ Hux had said. But Ben hadn’t brought anyone to the party. Maybe it’s too new, or maybe he’s just moved on in the general sense and there are multiple women right now. 

_Pick a safer subject. You’re a law student, this is a higher up in legal of one the most influential nonprofits on the planet. He’s the smartest person you know._ “Congratulations by the way.”

“On? Oh, the promotion? Thank you. Reporting to Lando is not ideal – he used to babysit me, has pictures of me running around his house naked and other pics of me as his daughter’s makeup model.”

 _Do not think of Ben naked._ She stops, but then is thinking of a baby Ben. Dark curls, chubby cheeks before he grew into his strong features… _a baby._ She hates her biological clock, it must be the alcohol, she thinks and vows to slow down. Or maybe she should just jump into oblivion?

 _What were they talking about again?_ The job. “It’s just time you need to put in… This is all leading to what you wanted.”

He has always had one goal. There has never been a Chief Legal Officer at the Foundation. _Not yet,_ Ben had answered when she asked him about his future plans. _Not yet._

He shrugs, “I suppose. It’s work… and you? How are you? Bored to death?”

She laughs, “No. Not really. I met Amal Clooney last semester and … she was so inspiring!”

“Yeah, that shit in Myanmar… fucking heartbreaking.”

And it’s easy to fall into their old roles of mentor and intern. She is surprised to find that he has read her law journal articles and reviewed her research for the Foundation. “Mycroft speaks highly of you.”

She smiles thinking fondly of Dopheld Mitaka, one of the Foundation’s Director of Public Health, and one of her superiors in the London office. He’s brilliant and awkward, and is always thinking ten steps ahead of everyone else. “He said you gave him that horrible nickname… then asked me if I thought it was appropriate.”

“That’s one of the great things about Doph. He’s open to feedback. What did you tell him?”

“That I could see some shared characteristics… and that it was probably said with a lot of respect given that Mycroft is smarter than Sherlock.”

“Sacrilege,” Ben teases. He’s a big fan of Cumberbatch’s Sherlock. “Did he offer you a job right after you said that or did he wait until the end of your internship?”

“He waited.”

“Well… you can write your own ticket at this point, Rey. Just like you wanted. See the world. The Foundation will give you any location you want. Or you can see what the other side offers: explore the NGO side, and private practice is always open to you.”

She loves the Foundation. It’s big, far reaching, and effective that she may never leave it. Especially when he is there.

“So, this shower tomorrow – the two idiots still don’t know what kind of party it is?”

“Rose told you?”

“I asked her what I should buy and she said wait until I get there… So she had to tell me. Brilliant by the way. They’re going to love it.”

“It’s hard to compete with this,” she gestures around the patio.

“This is a last hurrah, it had to be big. Yours will be the gift that keeps on giving.”

She has never outgrown blushing when he praises her.

She sees it then – the desire – and she knows how much it used to turn him on when she blushed. _Does it go all over your body, Rey? Are you perfectly pink everywhere now?_

She gives him the same look. She wants him to be braver than she is. She wants him to reach out to her. _It’s his turn, right? I reached out to him and I don’t have enough courage -_

Her phone buzzes, and it’s a text message comes in from Rose. _< I just put in a 5-song request starting with _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun _so get your ass down here. Now BFF MOH. > _

_Best friend. Maid of honor._ This is Finn’s party, she remembers and she has a role to play first. Before anything else. “Duty calls,” she flashes Ben her phone.

“It does” – he stands when she does - “but I’ll see you tomorrow?”

She waits a heartbeat looking up at him. _For a kiss on the cheek, a handshake, a hug_ but he just nods and they walk down the stairs.

They pause at the landing and he reaches out to tuck a stray hair behind her ear and caresses her cheek. She leans into it his hands the same time he pulls away. They lock eyes one last time before he heads down the stairs… She knows where she stands. _She’s still so in love with him._

* * *

She is in an Uber, making her way to Pioneer Square.      

> _Ben: **I forgot to tell you.**_
> 
> _Rey: **?**_
> 
> _Ben: **You’re still the most beautiful woman in the world.**_

She’ll take it. Maybe she’s the only one this deeply affected, but this is a sign. He is at least still attracted to her. The Universe is telling her something, she doesn’t know what, but she knows better than to ignore the Universe.  

> _Rey: **Where are you?**_
> 
> _Ben: **At the bar paying up. You?**_
> 
> _Rey: **Getting breakfast**_
> 
> _Ben: **It’s 4 – are you at 13 Coins?**_
> 
> _Rey: **Almost. I’m almost there**_
> 
> _Rey: **Will you meet me?**_
> 
> _Rey: **It’s just me. Finn and Poe broke their celibacy vow in the bathroom**_
> 
> _Rey: **And Rose hooked up with some Microsoft programmer**_
> 
> _Ben: **I’ll be there in 15 minutes. Order me something?**_
> 
> _Rey: **The crab benny?**_
> 
> _Ben: **Yes. Please.**_
> 
> * * *

For most of her life, Rey has been independent. Most of it is by necessity.     

> _“I want you to wait for me, OK, love? Wait for me right here and I’ll come back for you. I’ll always come back for you.” She remembered the kiss on her forehead, and her mother’s smell. It was of sugar and smoke – Rey is much older before she realized that the smoke was cigarettes even though Kira hid that habit from her._
> 
> _“OK, Mommy,” Rey wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck and squeezes. She hated goodbyes, but she liked school. Maybe her mommy should go to school too because she is always sad when she picks up Rey._
> 
> _“I love you, Rey-Rey. You be good, and just wait for me,” Kira whispered, there were tears in her eyes, Rey thinks but memory is a tricky thing. Maybe she just hoped that her mother cried that day._

Rey was just 5 when her mother finally killed herself. She dressed Rey in her favorite Princess Jasmine shirt and dropped Rey off at Kindergarten. Rey learned when she is older that Kira went home, drew a warm bath and slit both her arms.  Rey never finds out who actually discovers her mother. _Some man she is sleeping with? Her drug dealer? The nice neighbor down the hall who watched her?_

She was 10, had been in 7 foster homes in 5 years, and was in the fifth grade when her Aunt Jyn, Kira’s sister, finally found her. Rey hadn’t even known she had an Aunt Jyn since Kira had burned every bridge she ever crossed. Jyn who looked so much like Kira that Rey called her _mommy_ the first time they see each other.

Jyn collected her from the Plutts – her last and worst foster parents – and the caseworker has to restrain Jyn from attacking them. Her niece was malnourished, the clothes she wore had holes in them, she shared a room with 4 other children including a 16-year-old boy (an extremely kind and protective boy, Jyn later learns when but still _sixteen)_. Jyn was livid, and Rey felt wanted for the first time in a long time. When Jyn married Cassian and he gave both of them his name, Rey was grateful. She had no attachment to being an Erso anyways.

They’re her family and they love each other, but she felt like an interloper. When her cousin Felicity was born, Rey felt a love so fierce she knew then and there was she wanted. _I want my own family._ When she is a college freshman, she is the one who tells Jyn and Cassian it is OK to leave, to stop putting their lives on hold – it’s time for them to go home. She knows they aren’t abandoning her. She’s OK with being on her own, it’s a natural part of becoming an adult. And more importantly she believes there is someone out there for her.

It is with Ben she begins to think _Yes, this. Home._ She hasn’t had many relationships before Ben, but right away being with him is different. He’s older than she is, extremely wealthy, and a little too formal _Let me introduce you to my partner, Rey Andor_. He’s already on a promising career path, even if he isn’t the son of a founder. People learn quickly that he did not get his position through any form of nepotism. She learns people expect more from him, because _overachieving_ is the family trait. His maternal grandfather Anakin Skywalker had been a powerful Democrat in his time at the Senate. His adopted grandmother Breha Organa had been the first female governor of the state. His mother and her twin had revolutionized the tech industry. Han Solo was an engineer who helped design the International Space Station. For most people it would be stress inducing, but Ben shrugs off his legacy and bears it with stoicism. _I’m not them. If I wanted to be a barista it would be OK._

They lived a lavish lifestyle, were invited to the most important events in the country, traveled the world to see the impacts the foundation was making. Yet, they live in the moment. There was no talk of the future, of marriage, of children, of growing old together. They just existed in the moment and it was enough. There would be time later for forever.

But this night, after almost three years apart from him, she is too weak to think about forever. She wants _now._

When his black Escalade SUV pulls up to a spot right in front of the restaurant, she is waiting outside on one of the overflow benches. Her coat goes to below her knees, and she has a scarf wrapped around her head. She shivers when he reaches her and it’s not all from the cold.

“You should have waited inside,” He says more worried than reproachful, his hand is rubbing over her coat to warm her. He pauses to look at her. _Is this OK?_

“I changed my mind.”

“Oh. You don’t want breakfast?... I can drive you back to Rose’s.”

She steps into his space, her hands at his waist, “Or we could go somewhere else? Your place?”

Maybe she has misjudged this moment. Maybe he only told her she looked beautiful because he is trying to be friends – or something less than friends, but definitely something more than people who do not speak for three years – and she feels the emptiness begin to edge from her stomach into her chest –

And then he is pulling her against him, his mouth descending into a punishing kiss that she feels through her entire body. She kisses him back just as fiercely, and only when his lips soften does she yields; finally, finally wrapping her fingers in his silken hair. Landing in Seattle, having a slumber party with her besties, eating at her favorite restaurants – all of these are important. _But Ben’s mouth sinking into hers, claiming her. This is home._

“God yes. Let’s go,” he groans against her mouth, finally pulling away so he can lead her to his car.

When she is safely in the passenger seat of the Escalade and they are driving away from Pioneer Square he doesn’t head towards the West Seattle Bridge – towards his place – she is confused, “Where are we-”

He glances her way, there’s very little traffic on the city streets. “I don’t live on Alki anymore. I live in Capitol Hill.”

“You sold the place when you moved to DC?” She had loved the apartment. It was her favorite place in the world.

“I moved out a few weeks after you left, Jacen needed a house sitter,” his mouth is a firm line as he stares out his window.

She swallows, and attempts to tease lightly, “That sounds like torture.” Jacen’s house is a beautiful craftsman that fits in his upper middle-class neighborhood, outwardly perfect. However, Jacen is the messiest person she has ever been introduced to. He doesn’t believe in owning containers, or emptying his fridge, or separating his clothes into dirty and clean. Ben is the exact opposite. Everything has a specific place.

 _Why would you leave?_ She wants to ask, but she sees his face go blank for a minute and she wants to apologize instead _._

He shrugs, “He didn’t want to sell his place, and he was headed abroad for six months. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. After I had it fumigated.”

They drive up Madison and then up 15th Ave East. She has always liked this neighborhood, close to Broadway and Cal Anderson Park. But when they stop in front of what used to be the First Church of Christ Scientist, she grips his arms. “ _You do not live here!”_

The Church is a historic landmark; Built in the Beaux Arts architecture style in the early 1900s, it was converted into 12 townhouse condos that retain the ostentation of the building: 35 high feet high ceilings, use of marble and stone, and 20 feet tall stained glass. Leia and Han own 2 of the units, but have never slept a night in the converted church. Their house on Mercer Island is conveniently close to the city.

 The first time Rey attends a party in the larger unit, she knew she was in a sacred space.     

> _“We shouldn’t,” she had said half-heartedly. Everyone had already left, Leia had given them her blessing to stay over, saying someone should use it once in a while._
> 
> _Ben had her naked on the couch, his hands already spreading her legs as he kneeled before her. “Where better to worship you than in a Church?”_
> 
> _He had divested himself of his clothes as well. She couldn’t stop looking at him, touching his shoulder, her chest. He was art carved into creamy stone – David as King, or Samson with his long hair. When he licked a wide stripe against her cunt her mind had gone white. He alternated between fucking her with his tongue and sucking on her clit until she came, her voice echoing against the curved ceiling saying his name over and over in reverent prayer._ God, yes.
> 
> _When he pushed into her, her body still throbbing from her first orgasm, he had slid right in – she had never been so wet, always so wet with him – and they came together only after a few strokes._

He parks, but doesn’t turn the ignition off. He turns to look at her, giving her room for an out, she realizes. _Maybe he’s changed his mind._ There must be something on her face that tells him what she is thinking and he cups her cheek with his palm, “You’re even more beautiful than I remembered.”

She closes her eyes, wills herself not to tear up. “I didn’t think you liked thinking about me.”

“I wouldn’t know how to stop.”

She places a kiss into his palm, “I’d like to see your place now.”

She is the one who turns the car off.

When he opens her door, and helps her out he threads his fingers through hers, anchoring their hands to his side as if to say he’s not letting go.

They walk through the common area of the building, four leather chairs positioned under the oculus that during brighter days will allow sunlight into the space. Their feet tap against the concrete floors but she knows that the units are equipped with the best soundproofing.

He opens the door to the condo, and ushers her in. The lights turn on when they enter, dim but bright enough that she can make out everything in the room. He unties her trench coat and folds it once before placing it on the console table. His lips find her bare shoulder first. Then he holds her at her lower back, pulling the zipper down her dress.

He les the dress slip off her shoulders and past her waist and hips. When it pools on the floor beneath her, he whispers sending goosebumps along her back, “I’ve always liked how this dress looks on the floor.”

She steps out of it, lifting her foot to undo one of her matching silver heels, but he places a hand on hers, stilling her. “Leave them on.” She drops her foot back down and looks up at him. He isn’t looking at her, focused on her bare breasts – and one hand rests on the curve her hips, fingers hooking into the tiny straps of her sheer black panties, sliding one of his knuckles along her skin. _Fuck._

The other hand caresses her from neck, to breasts, down her stomach.

His brows furrow and she asks suddenly very self-conscious of her body, “What’s wrong?”

She’s fit, but not in the best of shape. He used to love her breasts and her ass, but how many other women have there been?

“You’ve lost weight,” he says.

She eats for sustenance now. She doesn’t cook much and there’s no one to really share a meal with. She and her roommates have such separate lives they can go days without seeing each other. No one is there to care what she actually eats. Ben had been obsessed with feeding her. _The sounds you make, Rey, no wonder gluttony is a sin._

“Well, I lost my personal chef a while ago,” she teases, but she can’t keep the regret out of voice.

He doesn’t throw it back at her that she threw it all away. Instead he hooks one arm behind her back knees and carries her towards his bedroom. “I eat first. Then you.”

The lights in his room are also automatic, only slightly brighter than the entryway. She makes out the bed, the nightstand, the drawers. There isn’t much furniture, and she recognizes it all as pieces that Leia has had since she bought the place. He lays her on the white bedsheets so that her legs fall off the sides and stands above her, just taking her all in. She can see the desire in his face, and when he leans above her to take a nipple in his mouth, she cries out from the pleasure spreading through her entire body.

He sucks a bruise on the underside of her breast and her hands tangle themselves in his hair, pushing his head down while she pushes herself into his mouth. More bruises at the bottom of her sternum and then licks along her along her stomach, his tongue dipping into her navel.

She could die right now but then changes her mind. His mouth keeps heading deliciously lower, and she decides instead she would kill to have him finish. _I eat first_.

His teeth find the strings of her panties and he tugs at them. She feels him pause, and opens her eyes to meet his.

 “Go ahead,” She whispers, knowing full well want he wants.

He kisses right under the flat of her belly, then over the triangle of her panties, licking and sucking on the telltale wetness. “Fuck,” he whispers as he tastes her through the silk. And then with his hand pulling taunt the string, he uses his teeth to tear her panties apart. First one side and then the other.

He is still fully clothed while she lays bare before him. He is on his knees, supplicant before her. When he straightens, he lifts both her legs so he can place kisses on her knees before spreading her legs. He pulls the ruined panties off her before slipping his thumbs across her folds. She’s wet, wetter than she has been in a long time and when he leans back to get a good look at her, she holds her breath. It is only a few heartbeats before he tongues her. Down and up until he finds her clit and sucks. Sucks and licks and she is coming apart. It’s been so long. Too long.

“I’m not done, baby. I’m gonna make you do that again.”

She wants to say it’s too much, that she can’t possibly take more of this attention, but this may be the last time they share a space and there is nothing she will deny him tonight.

He tongues her, ignoring her clit for now - understanding her sensitivity. “You taste amazing.”

She comes again, softer this time and she watches with hooded eyes as he stands and takes off all his clothes. He is glorious. There is no one who comes close to being as beautiful as he is. She sits up and places her mouth on his hip bone, placing her own kiss there until a mark blooms. _Mine,_ she thinks as she nuzzles against the hair at his groin, the smell of him – of Homme and his natural earthiness filling her senses. Her hands at his back, she look up at him. _More._

He opens the drawer to his nightstand and pulls out a condom.

 _I’m clean_. _I have an IUD._ She wants to say. But there is the underlying truth behind them. _I have been with other people, when all I wanted was you._ There is no hesitation as he tears open the packet and puts it on. _You have been with others… did you make them feel like they were the center of the universe too? Did you leave someone in DC?_

She closes her eyes as he rearranges her farther along the bed, and the mattress dips with his weight as he kneels between her legs. He pauses at her entrance and when he doesn’t move, she opens them to look up at him. He is unreadable as he stares at her.

 _Please,_ she wants to beg. When he leans forward, he uses one hand to reach behind her back and lift her at the waist; she raising herself on her elbows. His mouth finds her breast and he sucks her nipple into his mouth. She hitches one leg at his waist and he takes the hint. He thrusts, halfway in and they both groan.

“Fuck, you’re so goddamned perfect, Rey,” He says as he pulls out and then pushes a little deeper in. He repeats, deeper each time. The rhythm they set is like her heartbeat. She doesn’t have to think about it. She answers each of his thrusts with her own as she whispers against him - _God, yes, don’t stop, don’t ever stop -_ feeling the buildup of another orgasm. His hand is between them, finding her clit and ghosting over it. When she comes shouting his name, she holds nothing back – she knows this place. The soundproofing is amazing.

He finishes soon after, twitching inside of her. He collapses on top of her for just a moment before moving them so they’re on their sides but facing each other. She put her hands on either side of his face. She’s been crying all week for no goddamn reason, but her survival instincts have kicked in around him. She’s dry eyed, able to hold her tears at bay.

His smile is thoughtful. And before she can ask him what he’s thinking he asks, “Pancakes?”

Her stomach answers in response.

“I’ll take that as a _yes._ ” She starts to get up when he does, but he pushes her back onto the bed. “No. Stay here. Just like this. I’ll be right back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Ben's pretty closed off here. But his POV has been drilling into my brain the past few days. I blame [Berry](http://strawberrycupcakehuckleberrypie.tumblr.com) for inspiring me! Looking for a beta for that one, folks!
> 
> [13 Coins](https://www.13coins.com/) is Seattle institution. It's 24 hours and has great benedicts. For real though.
> 
> If I win the lottery, I want to live in [The Best Seattle Condo Ever!](https://freshome.com/historic-church-conversion/). Pay attention to the oculus in the common area and the mezzanine where I picture them banging.


	4. Chapter 3:  Under the Closet I Keep Your Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's closet and the best kind of bridal shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter. @me if you see some obvious errors. Thanks!

Ben takes her from behind after feeding her pancakes. She is sated, post orgasmic, and sleeps wrapped in his arms until his alarm goes off at 7:00 AM. He’s a morning person – and Sunday was always a gym day for him while she took two hours to read the news.

Sometimes they would start with sex before he left for the gym, so she isn’t surprised when he slams on the snooze button, and rubs his hard on against her ass. His hand snakes at her cunt, sliding between her fold and finding her clit. She’s not even embarrassed by how quickly she get wet. She puts her hand on top of his and pushes his fingers deeper into her. _So good, so fucking good for me, Rey._ He switches hands, and she whimpers as he leans away for a moment taking his heat with him. She hears the bedside drawer open and a crinkle of a condom packet. She swallows her pain, and her pleasure takes over when he sinks into her from behind.

* * *

“Thank the gods my walk of shame will only be from the car to Rose’s place,” she says as she drinks the coffee he offers her a few hours later. She has to be at the venue by 1:00. She can make it. If she moves now.

“Actually,” he runs his hands through his dark hair and sighs.

“Actually?”

“I have some boxes of your clothes.”

“What? You were supposed to send them all to Poe’s.” Poe keeps her clothes in his spare bedroom – the dog’s room actually – but she has never done a complete inventory.

“It’s not much, but you can find something… I’m going to take a shower,” he says sliding out of bed, walking to his en suite.

She waits until she hears the shower and gets up, reaching for the shirt he discarded. She goes to his closet and turns on the light. There are only two boxes, they’re not that large even. But when she opens the first box, she realizes they are filled with memories. All the tee shirts are from places they’ve been together, the shorts and sweats her most comfortable, the socks are from when they played coed soccer for a citywide intramural league. The second box is filled with dresses he bought her for special occasions, placed in clear garment bags: dresses to celebrate their anniversaries, New Years, birthdays, and even her Hufflepuff robes from a trip to London when she introduced him to her grandparents for the first time.

She grabs some leggings and a Sounders shirt. She can wear her heels with these she supposes but then sees that there are shoes as well behind the boxes.

His calligraphy set – the one she bought him the last Christmas they were together – is stacked on one of her shoe boxes. His handwriting has always fascinated her; she’s left handed and has no artistic bone in her body, so she always enjoyed watching him write – only slightly more fascinated with his beautiful hands than the actual words he wrote.

She opens it, hoping to find some of his work, and steal something to take home to remember him. There are some pages with their names, but also nestled inside she finds a small blue box.

She swallows hard, reaching for the box – it’s small enough to fit in the palm of her hand. She opens it, revealing the indecent ring nestled against the black velvet interior – a large emerald, cut in a multi-faceted rectangle, with a platinum art deco band set with smaller diamonds. She knows this ring. This is Padme Amidala Skywalker’s engagement ring. Leia had shown it to her once during her Annual Mother’s Day fundraiser – a few days before she and Ben broke up. _This is probably be the last time I wear it,_ Leia had said fondly. _It’s going to a much better cause after today._ Rey had thought to a museum to share with the world. Most of Padme’s collection was in France as part of a jewelry exhibit of forgotten royalty.

She closes the box, returns it into the calligraphy set, and puts it all back where she had found it. She hears the water turn off and quickly stands to make her way back into the room.

_How different their lives would have been had he asked her…_ Three years ago, nothing would have stopped her from saying yes. _A thousand times yes._

Who was she kidding? If he asked her right now she would still say yes. _A thousand times yes._

* * *

 Rose does not comment, when Rey rushes into the condo. She hands Rey a green concoction and follows her into the bedroom, “Drink up.”

“This is not hair of the dog is it?” Rey asks.

“No… It’s vegetable – mostly.”

She sips and it’s not bad at all. She starts to shed her clothes and head towards the bathroom.

When she comes out, having finished her drink in the shower, Rose is at the edge of the bed. Her hair has been curled in a 50s pinup look to match the navy silk shelf bust dress with full circle skirt she is wearing.

Rey unzips the garment bag and pulls out a light blue, strapless sheath dress and steps into it. Without asking, Rose stands to zip her in, humming.

“So.”

“You get 5 minutes. And then we never speak of it again.”

“Oh, I don’t need the full 5,” Rose assures her and steps away. “You get any sleep at all?”

“An hour maybe?”

“Your hips are bruised. Well, lots of you is bruised…”

Rey ignores her and reaches into the bottom of the garment and grabs a black lace long sleeved crop top that she tops her outfit with.

“Damn that’s sexy, Rey-Rey… You going for a round two with Solo when we’re done?”

“One can only hope.”

“Well good thing all your hickeys are covered by this outfit… and that your bridesmaid dress covers more skin than anything. Poe would kill you -”

“Poe’s probably going to kill me anyway. He thinks I’ll hurt Ben.”

Rose is silent, pursing her lips.

“You agree?”

“Ben was different after you left.”

Rey takes the seat in front of the vanity set and starts to put on her makeup, “He had my clothes in his closet… I mean in boxes, in the way back of his closet, but… he kept a lot.”

“Of course he did, Rey-Rey, you were what made his life whole.” And it is Rose who is tearing up a little. Because she was there to help Ben pick up the pieces.

“He said that?” And it’s not a question, not really. _Not when she knew it was the truth every time he looked at her._

“He drank a lot, and man he is a talker when he’s drunk…. and even if he hadn’t, we all knew it.” She leans over to wipe the tears from Rey’s face.

* * *

Edison Mak, their classmate from high school, owns an art gallery in Georgetown and offered the space for their shower/tea party. He greets both of them with air kisses and leads them into one of the galleries where tall bar tables are scattered throughout the room. At both ends of the space are matching buffets piled with various salads, tea sandwiches, and bite size desserts. A bartender mans a station which is set with water, tea, and tea cocktails: Black Tea + Rum, Green Tea + Whiskey, and Chamomile + Vodka. Last Christmas, Rey and Rose tried all three and loved them. They did drunk caroling right after that with their college friends.

She, Rose, and Edison have also spent hours picking the art pieces in the room. Most of the wall art is abstract from the gallery’s existing inventory; but the sculptures are all glass, a nod to Finn’s hobby since high school. There is only one Chihuly, from Edison’s private collection, but he has come through and managed to procure pieces from Ikuta Niyoko and Preston Singletary. Finn loves Singletary above all glass artists.

“I’m glad the gay has rubbed off enough that you appreciate art, Rey,” Edison comments as he orders a Green Tea + Whiskey. “Or the Organa family did. Ben was in a few months ago to buy some pieces… that was a great month. Is he coming? Is he still a tall drink of water?”

“And then some,” Rose answers. She is mischievous as she whispers so only Rey can hear, “ _And hopefully he’ll keep on coming tonight_.”

Rey blushes but otherwise ignores her friend.

15 minutes later, guests start to trickle in. It’s a smaller group of people than the bachelor party, mostly women though Ben and Jacen have been invited as two of Poe’s closest friends. Jacen and Jaina come together.

“I just flew in,” Jacen warns, giving Rose and then Rey a kiss on the cheek. “Though this should be interesting.”

“He’s so tired, he can’t tell you how amazing all this is! And these dresses… Ladies, these outfits – your whole looks – are flawless,” she praises.

Jacen’s outfit is nothing to write home about, even if all the pieces are designer – but Jaina looks perfect in a solid black top with a full skirt of multiple layers of white under black opaque silk.

“Where should we put these?” Jaina asks, shaking two bags and Rose takes them to a small table discreetly set aside for gifts.

Finn and Poe come in, with BeeBee on a long skinny red leash, and with a few other people. The Havanese is better behaved then most children, but Edison is making his way to the group, a look of concern on his face. He and Finn exchange hugs before Finn beelines for his besties.

“I told him not to bring BeeBee. Does he listen-?” The three of them turn. Poe has BeeBee tucked under his arm and Edison is kissing the Havanese on the noise. “Well that deescalated quickly.”

Jaina cocks her head as she regards Poe’s companion. Poe has an arm wrapped around the woman’ waist, while she shakes Edison’s hand. She is lithe, and wearing a tight gray sweater sheath that accentuates her tiny waist and curves. Golden highlights are scattered in her light brown hair, and her cheekbones look like they could cut glass. She looks familiar, but Rey cannot place her immediately.

“Bazine’s looking good,” Jacen comments and his twin shrugs.

It clicks. Bazine Netal, Rey heard her speak on a symposium a year ago on Malaysia’s efforts in eliminating mother to child transmission of certain disease. “That’s Dr. Bazine Netal of the World Health Organization?”

“Poe’s cousin,” Finn supplies. “I only met her this week - though sounds like she grew up with you guys?”

Jacen nods. “Yes. She and Jaina were sorority sisters and she was one of Jaina’s bridesmaids even.” He pauses, but stops from whatever he was going to say. He asks his sister, “Did you know she was in town, Jai?”

Jaina ignores the question and instead pulls her brother with her, “We should go say hi. See how she is. We’ll catch up with you three later.”

Once Edison indicates their special guests have arrived, Rey clinks her glass of Chamomile + Vodka to get the room’s attention, “Welcome everyone! For those of you that don’t know me, I’m Rey Andor, I’ve been Finn’s BFF since we were in the 6th grade middle school! This is our other BFF Rose who did a lot of the logistics since I’m a shit friend and have been in California for the past three years… Thank you for all coming to our tea party slash shower. Don’t worry, we won’t be making dresses out of toilet paper or playing cutesy word scramble – I heard that party already happened. _Sounds like it was lots of fun_!” Her tone says anything but that.

“I hope that today’s event is fun as well,” she waves in the people hovering by the door. “Please welcome Ani, Rafe, and Gigi from My Pleasure Boutique in Capitol Hill. They will be sharing us tips, tricks, and tantalizing tales on how to keep it fresh in the bedroom – with or without partners. And to celebrate the nuptials this Saturday on the 30th, My Pleasure Boutique is extending a 30% discount on everything. Take advantage, this is a once in a lifetime price for a once in a lifetime couple.”

Ani, Rafe, and GiGi enter the room wheeling carts full of sex toys and other accessories. Jacen Skywalker, who has convinced the bartender to just pour him straight whiskey claps loudly, “Damn I love you, Rey Andor.”

“Well done, Rey-Rey,” Poe congratulates her as she joins them at the table. Rafe leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek, and then the same for Poe. The three of them have known each other for a while.

Finn and Rose are dispersed throughout the room, and Poe has banished Jacen to the table that has the only other straight males in attendance. Bazine reaches across from Jaina to introduce herself to Rey, “I’m Bazine Netal, from the World Health Organization, and my specialty is in infectious diseases. I’m originally from the Seattle area, and am hoping to move back. I’ve missed home.” She looks expectantly to Rey. _Wonder if she was ever a pageant contestant._

“It’s a pleasure to meet you face to face, Dr. Netal. I saw you speak at the Global Health Symposium in San Francisco. I’m Rey - a law student in California.”

“Oh, that’s nice. This is a great idea for a party! Please, call me Bazine.”

“Rey’s also a been with the Foundation since she was an undergrad,” Poe replies. “In fact, she and Rafe did some great sex education seminars across the state. Rafe still does some contractor work for us.”

“This a lifelong passion for you then?” Bazine asks Rafe and he laughs.

“You don’t even know… Now ladies,” Rafe starts, “this looks like a sophisticated bunch, do we want to talk first about perineum stimulation or prostate massagers? I can also have Ani finish up with some best toys for the female orgasm after. Poe, you get to choose.”

* * *

“We should have lunch,” Bazine comments to Jaina as she examines a curved dildo in her hand. Rafe has finished his formal presentation and is helping someone at another table go over vibrators. Rey, on the other side of Jaina, is playing with the candle that turns into massage oils. She wonders if she should buy some. She wonders if Ben has kept any of their toys. _She wonders where he is and what is taking him so long._

“Sure,” Jaina replies, but it is noncommittal.

“You haven’t even asked me about my date with Ben last week.”

Rey goes cold.

“Ben did mention you met to discuss some initiatives in Asia,” Jaina says bored.

Bazine’s eyes narrows, “He took me to Canlis.” At $200 per meal, Canlis is more romantic restaurant than business meeting location.

“I love Canlis. What did you order?”

“Really, Jaina?”

“Well, I know what Ben ordered – since he came over to our place with his leftovers dessert after. Lilian ate all his souffle. I felt kind of bad.”

“What else did he say?”

“That you had a right to be proud of your accomplishments in Malaysia. Elimination of mother to child transmission of HIV and syphilis? Congratulations, Bazine, that’s amazing!” This time she is sincere. “Going after MTCT of Hep B? What can we provide?”

““I don’t want to talk shop right now, Jaina.”

“You brought up your meeting with Ben,” Jaina reminds. She yawns. “I think I own everything I need. Though once can’t have too much massage oil, right Rey?”

Rey does not want to be included in this discussion.

Bazine seems to agree with the sentiment and ignores her. “You and Jacen are Ben’s family and two of his best friends… if things progress – we’re going to have to at least be civil with each other even if we’re never as close as we once were.”

“We’re being civil right now,” Jaina points out.

“Barely. I’m going to get something to drink. Anyone want anything?”

When she leaves Jaina looks at Poe who raises his hands in surrender, “She’s my cousin. I love her. You used to love her.”

“Until she cheated on Ben!” Jaina hisses.

“They dated?” Rey asked. “For how long?”

“Two years right after I got married…But she was at USC and couldn’t do a long-distance relationship as Ben found out when he went to surprise visit her one weekend. He caught her fucking one of her professors.”

Rey is silent. Thrown back to that day in May three year ago.  

> _“Maybe we need to rethink our relationship– while you’re in law school,” Ben said as they had lunch. He said it as if he was talking about the weather, and not about their life._

She remembers the way the sun hit the breakfast table on the patio. She can still taste the bread in her mouth. To this day she can’t eat buttered toast. The past few months had been hard. Deciding to go away to school, instead of staying at the University of Washington had been a difficult decision… she knew it was going to cause issues, but as soon as she decided he had started pulling away, spending more time at the office. For someone like her, her survival instincts went into high gear.  

> _“A clean break would be best,” she had said. Without thinking._

Rey excuses herself to mingle. But she knows exactly when Ben gets there. The energy changes, a temporary silence descends upon the room, as everyone takes him in: women preen, men stand taller. Only when people start talking again does Rey peek from her drink to look at him. He’s dressed – no surprise – in dark colors. Black jeans, a dark gray jacket, and a black shirt.

He walks through the room greeting Edison and then Poe before moving towards Rey. She is caught in his orbit, moving towards him as well. When they meet somewhere in the middle, her manners kick in and she leads him towards the buffet. “Just a small spread – so you won’t ruin your dinner later, and there are drinks over there. I can get you something if you’d like. Green Tea + Whiskey is a popular choice.”

He stays close as she walks the buffet. She plates his food, knowing from a life with him which foods he will not eat: cucumbers with seeds are not his favorite, these strawberries are hot house grown, the pasta salad has tuna in it. Even though he doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, the dark chocolate flourless cake bite is her favorite and she plates it anyway. He used to enjoy feeding her.

He hasn’t said anything yet, until she hands him the plate, “Thank you. Sorry I’m late,” -he bites into one of the sandwiches, bobbing his head a little- “mmm that’s not bad, ba-Rey.”

He pauses at the faux pas. _Babe._ “I’m going to go say hi to Jace. Thanks again.”

She nods, swallowing past the knot in her throat. After making a circuit, checking in with friends, she heads back to her table.

“Here you go, sweets,” Rafe hands her a small bag. “A little thanks for having us here.” He heads over to the buffet with his friends once she tells him they’re off the clock and she encourages him to take leftovers, since she’s provided take home bags.

Finn and Rose make their way over, and Bazine slides off her barstool, not paying Rey any attention. Rey watches, as if the other woman too is a moon, caught in Ben’s pull. She makes a straight line for Ben’s table, taking an empty stool in front of the cousins.

“Ben’s ex-girlfriend,” She catches Rose and Finn up and they look at her, then Ben, then Poe, and Jaina.

“Really?” Rose asks. “She seems kind of cold.”

“Put together, professional. She’s my favorite cousin,” Poe warns.

“Bazine is totally his type,” Jaina argues. “Poe, you’ve called her a stone-cold bitch enough times! She’s flawless, emotionless, clinical. Just like every girl he’s ever dated for more than two weeks.” Jaina brushes a stray hair behind Rey’s ear. “At least his type, until our Rey-Rey.”

“Yes, we all know what a hot mess I am,” Rey snorts. This is an old discussion. She is nowhere near the glamous women that Ben has dated before her.

“Passionate,” Rose says.

“Impulsive, and wicked funny,” Finn adds, “the best kind of person.”

“The only woman he’s ever loved,” Jaina tells her.

“Don’t be silly.” Rey argues. Ben doesn’t love, he has passion projects. She is watching Jacen and Ben lean forward to listen to whatever Bazine is telling them. Jaina catches her eyes and Rey looks away first.

“No, I’ll sign off on that,” Poe says. He reaches for BeeBee and rub’s his head. “He dated Bazine for two years and never once thought about moving in with her. Not that she cared either way. I mean she wants to date him again, because it’s expected. Like they’re fucking royalty or something.”

“Anyone with eyes know he loved you,” Rose says.

“No…” she argues. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Yes,” Rose answers.

“It was,” Finn adds.

“It still is, idiot,” Jaina promises. “So be careful with him, Rey-Rey. I love you. But he’s my blood, and I will always be Team Ben. So don’t hurt him too much.”

Poe won’t pick sides in front of Finn. He smiles at Rey, he’s already said his peace. She wonders really if every one of them at this table – including her – is on Team Ben.

* * *

As the party begins to wind down, Bazine, Ben, and Jacen make their way back to the group. The Pleasure Boutique staff have finished packing up and are delivering packages to the guest. Rafe drops bags in front of Rose, Finn, and Bazine. “Enjoy, ladies!”

“Would you like a drink, Bazine? You look thirsty,” Jaina comments, and slides forward a bottle of water.

“No… That’s OK. Ben and I have dinner plans tonight. I think I can hold off my thirst for a while,” Bazine shoots back.

Ben clears his throat, “Well. I’ve called my mother, and she’ll meet us at her office first, Bazine? In about two hours? I’m headed back, got a lot more to do.”

“Another dinner meeting?” Jaina raises an eyebrow.

“It can be both business and pleasure. Leia and I keep in touch,” Bazine shrugs. “I’ll walk out with you, Ben. I should go home and rest up…. It was great meeting you all! Finn, you and I definitely need to spend some time together. Maybe when you get back from the honeymoon.”

Finn nods, “We should.”

Poe takes one look at the lot of them and suggests, “OK. Let’s raid the bar and take this party back to our place.”

* * *

It is muscle memory, falling into Poe and Finn’s couch, with Finn on one side, Rose on the other, and Poe on the armchair. There are two bottles of red in front of them, plus leftover food from the tea party.

“That was a beautiful party, Peanut, Rosie! I love you both.” Finn tells them, raising his glass in a toast.

“Yes, you guys outdid yourselves! Everything has such a personal touch. We’re lucky to have you guys in our lives,” Poe adds.

“We try,” Rey said, tucking her feet under her because gods forbid, she put her feet on the coffee table in front of Poe.

“You didn’t buy anything though.”

“All I need are batteries. Otherwise I’m good.” She winks at Rose.

“I dunno. I kinda liked the remote-controlled vibrator. That would be super fun,” Rose says wistfully.

“How did the thing go with the programmer?” Rey asks, curious since they haven’t had a chance to talk.

“You hooked up with Michael? Again?!” Finn is excited and rubs his hands together. “He and I volunteer together at the Boys and Girls Club,” He explains to Rey. “Are you ever gonna give the guy a chance and go out with him for real? He knows all the good restaurants – and he cooks amazingly!”

“Michael Escobar? Yes, Rose. Go out with him! You guys are cute together! You’re always complaining about not finding anyone who wants a relationship. Michael is a relationship kind of guy!”

“And he’s gainfully employed. Loves to snowboard.”

“Really what are you afraid of?”

“Rey slept with Ben!” Rose interrupts.

“Wait what?!” Finn shifts in his chair so he can look at his best friend. “You’ve only been here two days, Peanut!”

Poe purses his lips. Waiting. Then, “Slept with. So at his place? Not at the club.”

She nods, taking a deep breath and giving Rose a stink eye. She shrugs, and drinks from her glass.

“And now he’s having dinner with my cousin. Who very much wants to be the future Mrs. Ben Solo.”

“Then that’s where he wants to be -” Rey says, gripping her glass. “He did ask her to dinner it sounds like.”

“She’s interested – you weren’t. That’s what I thought at least… Who kissed who?”

“Are we really having this talk right now?!” Finn asks. “Because wine is not going to cut it. Go get that expensive shit I can’t afford.”

Then he turns back to Rey, expectantly.

She feels like they are in 10th grade all over again, except back then she was the one prompting Rose or Finn to spill on their dramatic love lives. “He kissed me. After I asked him to take me to his place.”

“Oh, Rey-Rey… what’s going on?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. I just- I miss him so much. All the time. And then when I saw him on Saturday, it’s like these past few years didn’t happen. But it doesn’t mean anything for him. He’s out at dinner with your cousin.”

Poe sighs, loud and long. He stands and goes into the kitchen to grab reinforcements. He brings back a tray of whiskey and vodka with 4 glasses. “Fine. Leia called the meeting. Not Ben. They’re interviewing Bazine for a job at the Foundation. Or maybe seeing if we can collab on some issues in South Asia. Ben didn’t reach out to her. Leia told me herself… but fuck if I’m not going to encourage him to date her, Rey. He’s been alone and I want for him want I got with my man.”

“When they broke up – him and Bazine – was it anything like when he and Rey -?” Finn asks, rubbing Poe’s hand under his.

“Gods, no. I think he was more relieved than anything. And they kept in touch…. It wasn’t anything like with Rey.”

“Then, my love, if you want Ben to have something like we have, it’s not going to be with your cousin.”

They’re silent for a little while, until Rey asks, “What was it like? After I left?”

“There was a lot of drinking… and moving him out of your place in Alki. Which he trashed by the way. He couldn’t bear to look at it… It was a long process, him healing. I mean, when he moved to DC… I don’t think he was over you yet.”

“Are you over him?” Rose asks.

She’s quiet and shakes her head.

It is around 8 PM when she gets a text message from Jacen. They check in with each other every so often. Or he sends her stupid memes and gifs. Such stupid, stupid content. She hopes to god it isn’t a meme.  

> _Skywalker, MD: **Hey. What ru doing?**_
> 
> _Rey: **Drinking at Poe’s. Come over. Bring more vodka**_

Jacen sends a picture. Of Ben and Jaina in some heated debate, Jaina half off her chair. They seem to be at a crowded bar. There are empty beer bottles in front of them and a bowl of fries, Jaina’s kryptonite.  

> _Skywalker, MD: **Ben dropped off his date an hour ago. So it’s just us Skywalkers. Can I bring them too?**_

She shows Finn the chat who whispers softly in her ear, for her alone, “What do you want, Peanut?”

She won’t voice it. Not yet.  

> _Rey: **Come over. But seriously, bring vodka**_

It is only the boys who come, Jacen explains his sister has to wake up early to bring her kids to school and she’s helping Poe and Shara do errands for the wedding. He produces the vodka and two six-packs of beer. Ben takes the armchair across from Poe, and Jacen drags an extra chair into the living room, seating himself between Poe and Finn.

“How was your date?” Poe asks.

Ben does that thing with his mouth, a visible expression of his frustration. But he responds, “It wasn’t a date. It was business dinner. She has some great projects she wants to implement and we’re aligned -”

“Having your mom as chaperone must have been fun.”

“Please. It was a mutual admiration society meeting. If anything I was the third wheel,” he takes a long sip of his beer and leans back against the chair.

“She’s too skinny,” Jacen comments.

“What does that even mean?” Rose asks. “I thought men just wanted a warm body.”

“Well, Ms. Tico, men usually like to hold on to something. Something pretty and soft, like you,” Jacen winks at her and she blushes.

“Don’t do it, Rose. Don’t look him in the eye. He’s got voodoo powers,” Poe warned.  “Who wants a refill?!” Every hand went up.

“And popcorn,” Rose asks.

“You’re a genius, Rosie. That sounds awesome. I even have that disgusting ranch powder you and Finn like.”

Later Jacen corners her on the way back from the bathroom, and drags her into Poe’s guestroom. BeeBee is resting on the bed but his head perks up when they enter. “Um are you stupid?” Jacen hisses at her.

She sits on the bed, and scratches BeeBee behind his ears, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ve delivered my cousin to you on a platter, and you haven’t spoken twenty words to him!”

“We’re not really in a place for a heart to heart, Jacen. Besides he hasn’t spoken that many words to me either.”

“He didn’t even want to come until I told him you were here! Good _fucking_ god. How did they even let you into Stanford?”

“High LSATs and GPA, basically earned my way in. How’d you get into Johns Hopkins? Your dad?”

“See, there’s the Rey-Rey we all love. Be like that. Right now,” he pulls her up the bed and leads her back to the living room.

Everyone turns to them and Ben raises an eyebrow at his cousin’s hand on Rey’s arm. BeeBee comes running out, and Jacen grabs him with one hand, “Can we walk BeeBee?”

“Walk. BeeBee?” Poe repeats. Jacen hates most animals on principal. He once broke up with a girl at a party by screaming at her: _People are starving and dying and you bought your dog a fucking diamond tiara_.

“Yes. He looks like he needs to go out. Rey and I need some air.”

Rey looks at him like he is out of his mind, but he gives her a look as if to say, _Come on. Move it._ She starts talking, “We never really got to catch up this afternoon. And this week is going to be so busy it might be the only time I get to see him. Until London again.”

“You saw each other in London?” Ben asks Rey.

But it is Jace who answers, “Oh yeah, multiple times. Rey was kind enough to bring me around to her favorite haunts. Let me crash at her place too…. Poe, the leash?”

* * *

“And this is supposed to get me in Ben’s face how?” Rey asks as BeeBee does his business a few blocks from Poe’s condo.

“Oh I know my cousin,” his phone pings and he grabs it from his pocket and shows her, “See.”  

> _Bennie: **What the fuck are you even doing?**_

“That could mean anything,” Rey says but blushes all the same. He picks up BeeBee and heads up the street.

“Why are smart people so stupid at love?” Jacen directs the question to the dog. He sighs and starts typing in his phone.  

> _Jacen: **She wanted dick, man.**_

“Really?” Rey punches him on the shoulder.

“You know you do,” he points up at the large sign looming in the middle of the street.  

Rey shrugs, and her stomach grumbles. “Eh, I could eat.”  

> _Jacen: **Dick’s. Damn auto-correct**_

Dick’s Drive-In is a Seattle institution that Rey has been a fan since her first bite into a deluxe. The burgers are cheap and fresh (never frozen), the fries are hand cut, and the milkshakes are made with ice-cream. Poe’s place at the bottom of Queen Anne is only a few blocks from the Space Needle, and this Dick’s is the only one with indoor seating.

“You’re buying,” Jacen tells her.

“Why?”

“Because I’m just having a milkshake… what are you having?”

“Fine, but let the record show I’m a lowly law student and you’re a pediatric surgeon,” They get to the window and she order two deluxe cheeseburgers, fries, and 2 chocolate milkshakes. She pays.

“You OK? You not hungry, Rey-Rey?”

“Shut up.”

They’re talking about which restaurants in London he needs to visit on his next trip over when her phone pings. She picks it up to see it’s their BFF_P Groupchat:  

> _Dameron: **We’re winding down.**_
> 
> _BFFinn: **He is pissed**_
> 
> _Rosie: **At Jacen. Not you**_
> 
> _Dameron: **Maybe you too.**_
> 
> _Rosie: **Yeah, maybe. Do you want me to come get you?**_
> 
> _Rey: **No go home. I’ll find my way back**_
> 
> _Dameron: **I actually had your dress made with some give. But if you eat too many fries and have too much ice cream you’re going to break out.**_
> 
> _Rosie: **Remember when you told us to tell you when you’re acting like Bridezilla, Poe? It’s today**_
> 
> _Dameron: **Just saying.**_
> 
> _BFFinn: **Tell Jacen to bring home our baby and 3 vanilla milkshakes. The zits will be worth it**_

Jacen closes one eye to look through the straw at the bottom of his shake, “So what are you going to do?”

“Hang out here. See if I have the guts to text him.”

“Or maybe just sit here and look pretty til he shows up,” Jacen murmurs and motions out the window. They watch as Ben’s car enters the small parking area and moments later Ben exits his SUV, alone.  “Well that’s my cue to leave.”

BeeBee is sleeping on Jacen’s lap and softly yips when he gets up to make his way to the counter. Ben enters and barely glances at his cousin, walking through to the seating until he gets to Rey. He stands above the table, as if he is deciding on what to do next.

_Who the fuck cares whose turn it is?_ “Have a seat, Ben.”

He moves to take the spot that Jacen had vacated, but she pats the spot next to her, “We’re past that, aren’t we?”

When he does sit, he leaves a little space between them but she slides over, and his arms come around her, crushing her to him. She buries her head into his chest, can feel his heartbeat, heavy and fast. _Terre D’Herme_ envelopes her and she reaches under his sweater, putting her palm on his warm abdomen.

“Can I get a ride home?” She hears Jacen ask a few moments later. She also hears a soft thud on the table and peeks over Ben’s arm to see it’s a Rocky Road milkshake, Ben’s favorite.

“No,” Ben replies. “Rose can get you home. Or I can call you an Uber.”

“But how will Rey-”

“You can go now,” Ben answers.

“OK. See you guys later then. Bye, Rey-Rey,” he pulls at BeeBee’s leash with one hand and balances the milkshakes in the other.

“Jacen,” Ben calls after a few heartbeats and Jacen turns. “Thanks.”

* * *

They don’t talk as they leave Dick’s, they don’t talk in the car, and neither of them reach for the radio. They’re silent as he parks, and she quietly follows him. But they touch. He keeps his hand around her shoulders as they walk to the car, his hands are on her thigh as they drive through town, their fingertips are entwined as they make their way into his place and into his bedroom.

Light filters through his windows as she stands in front of the bed, the mattress hitting the back of her legs. This bed is smaller than the one they had in their Alki place, with gray sheets she has never seen. She wonders what he did with all of his old furniture. _Did he really trash all of it?_

His hands are at her shirt, unbuttoning the flannel to reveal the lace bralette she is wearing underneath. She shivers as he runs his hands over her shoulders and down her arms his hands are warm, every inch he leaves craves for his heat.

“What do you want, Rey?” He breathes against her neck. When she hears these words, she is like Pavlov’s dog, she can feel the slick between her legs. _What do you want, babe? My cock? My mouth? My fingers? Do you want me to give it to you from behind? Tell me, babe._

She closes her eyes, swallowing, “AlI of it… but let’s start with your dick inside of me.”

* * *

She dreams.  

> _The bed dip and rise. She reaches out to him, “What- where are you going?”_
> 
> _“Shhh,” he leans over to kiss her forehead, her cheek, her lips. “Go back to bed. I’ll be right back.”_
> 
> _“Don’t leave me, please,” she whispers._
> 
> _“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. You’re the one who runs.”_
> 
> _I came back, she wants to say but she’s falling back in to sleep._

She wakes when he slips back into bed, and she feels like there’s something she’s missing but can’t remember what it is. Her hand splays across his back as she pushes herself into his chest. She feels his cock twitch between them, and he is rearranging her so that he can slip along her cunt, teasing her.

“Do you need to be anywhere tomorrow?” He asks.

She shakes her head against his neck.

He pushes her down into the mattress, reaching into the dresser for another condom. They’ve used more condoms in the past two nights than in their whole relationship.

“I promise I’m clean, Ben… there hasn’t been anyone for almost a year, and I’ve been tested.” She doesn’t care how pathetic she sounds. More than anything she wants him inside of her, wants to feel him let go, pulsing, wants proof of him trickling down her legs when he leaves for work in the morning.

He doesn’t say anything, closes his eyes, and shake his head, “I can’t, babe.”

She didn’t think her heart could break any more than it is right now. _Have there been that many that he doesn’t even know if he’s clean?_   _Every single one of them is your own damn fault._

“What’s wrong?” Her face must give her away. She looks up at him, and can’t look at him for more than a few seconds so she looks to the side of him.

“Never mind. It’s dumb. I just want you - I don’t want anything between us, but I understand… if you haven’t been tested since your last-”

“Christ,” He swears and kisses her, swallowing any other words she has. He feels so good, his mouth on hers, his fingers kneading and pinching at her breast, and his cock still sliding along her folds, catching the liquid pooling at her cunt.

She could come from just this. He’s sliding with just enough pressure on her clit, that if he doesn’t stop she knows she’ll fall over the edge. He leaves her lips, sucking lightly at the corner of her mouth, trailing kisses from her jaw to the junction where her neck and shoulder meet. His free hand – the other is still holding at the damn condom - slides down her ribcage holding her down.

“That’s not why I need a fucking condom,” his pupils are blown and she curls her hand around his bicep. He groans as she moves her hips, trying to angle her body so he can fall into her. “I’m not going to last, I can’t fucking last, it’s been so goddamn long… they help me last –”

And with that admission, she times it just right, slipping the head of his cock into her – she’s so wet it doesn’t’ take much for him to be fully seated.

_Finally_. He’s finally inside her and she reaches for the condom and throws it away from the bed. “Ben, please. Baby, please.” He starts to move, and it doesn’t take long. She counts only to seven when she feels him shatter inside her, the warm ropes of his come filling her up. _This_.

“Fuck. You feel so fucking good.” He is still hard enough to fuck into her for a few more strokes, and it is all she needs. She tightens her legs around his waist as she comes, her cunt milking whatever he has left.

“There hasn’t been anyone else since you,” he whispers against her ear and she kisses him, holding his face with both her hands. She tightens her legs around his waist, holding him inside her.

* * *

It’s 8 AM and there is rain pelting the windows in his bedroom, but spring is here in Seattle, and it isn’t the gloomy overcast clouds of winter. The clouds shine soft white into the bedroom, bathing him in bright light. She watches him, kneeling and he has lifted her hips flush, holding her legs around him as he fucks into her at a leisurely pace. He stares right back at her.

There is no more talk of condoms. She has lost track of how many times she has come on this bed. Her world is limited to profanities, gods, and his name in multiple combinations. She is sore, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. _Come for me, baby_ rings over and over in her head, and she does every time. She comes, her walls fluttering against him and it continues as he comes a few seconds later, emptying into her, and letting her collapse into the bed. His sweaty head is on her sweaty chest and there is nowhere else in this world she would rather be.

She reads her text messages while Ben makes breakfast. He has made her promise she won’t leave the bed, and delivered coffee to seal the deal.  

> _Dameron: **You need to go in for a final fitting. Hopefully you’re within 5 pounds of your Christmas weight.**_
> 
> _Rey: **Yes Dad**_

Ben comes into the room wearing only his sleeping pants hung deliciously low on his hips, and puts the tray on the table next to her. His hair is tousled, and she blushes as she traces with her eyes the love bites she has kissed onto his skin. He sits on the edge of the bed and reaches for her coffee. He takes a sip and places the cup near the tray of food.

“Dameron?” He asks as she furrows her brow at her phone.

“Your mom called.” She plays it on speaker, “Hello, Rey. Do you have time for lunch tomorrow or Wednesday? I figure you’ll be busy, but we should catch up. Han and I miss you. Let us take you to Dahlia for pie.”

“You want to come?” She asks him.

“I wasn’t invited – but I’m about to come,” He promises and reaches for her with one hand and with the other tosses her phone behind him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to throw this kind of bridal shower party. But then I couldn’t invite my aunties. 
> 
> Everyone should eat at [Dick’s](https://www.ddir.com/). They used to give pretty good scholarships to their kids (and still might). Seriously ice- cream milk shakes.  
> Ack! I wrote a companion fic from Ben’s POV. Read it here [A Thousand Years (I have died everyday, waiting for you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17411687).  
> Also many many thanks to [Berry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie) for the shout-out on her wedding fic [if you want me(Come and Get Me)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324918/chapters/40756217). I can’t wait to see where this story goes… and ditto on her recommendation of [Embers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16579316/chapters/38851097) by @ sciosophia. 
> 
>  
> 
> I love this fandom.


End file.
